Nobody wants you here
by OnceUponAnatomyMinds
Summary: Rewrite of 12x23 ending. Details inside. What if Meredith didn't kiss Riggs, what if she did something quite opposite.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning to those who ship Meredith and Riggs together, stop reading because this may insult you!**

 **As the hardcore MERDER shipper that I am, I do not agree with her spending her widowed time kissing the enemy and having sex with him in her car. That being said, the ending to 12x23 was not on my side, like at all. And as much as the season final was beautiful and AMELIA LOOKED SO PRETTY AHH I CRIED SO HARD, Maggie having a thing for Riggs? NO THANK YOU MAGGIE LOVELY. So yes, the whole Riggs situation is not on my side right now.**

 **That being said, when Mere and Riggs were having their little face off in the car park I was expecting the entire situation to end differently. When she literally jumped his bones, I was not too impressed and needed to get my emotions out. One thing lead to another and then boom, I had a fanfiction idea in mind and HOLA, here I am. This will most likely be one or maybe 2 chapters depending on how things turn out so bare with me guys.**

 **I have officially finished catching up with Grey's so I am bored out of my mind and will be here a lot more so I hope nobody minds :D**

 **I hope you all enjoy and please, drop me a review.**

Meredith tried to mask her emotions as Riggs cornered her against the boot of her car, the torment present in his eyes as he smirked.

"What do you want Meredith?" She never spoke a word, the man backing off slightly. He went to turn away but in the moment she reacted before her mind had a chance to stop her. She swung her arm back and punched him in the face, the force sending him backwards but he managed to catch himself, holding is bloody nose as he looked up at her in shock. He mumbled something under his breath, Meredith's eyes burning as she advanced on him.

"What did you say?" She shouted, a pair of hands wrapping around her shoulders stopping her from taking another step.

"What the hell happened?" Jackson asked, Richard going to Riggs who shook off his supporting hands.

"I'm going to kill him" Meredith said through gritted teeth, Jackson pulling her back more. He looked down at her hand which was already starting to turn black and blue, taking it in his hand causing her to cry out slightly.

"You actually broke your hand" He commented with a smirk, Meredith not breaking eye contact with Riggs who was staring daggers at her through Richard's hold.

"Well he has a hard face" She muttered, Riggs laughing spitefully.

"Just like your ego" She went to pull away from Jackson, his grip tightening.

"Everyone just need's to calm down" Richard shouted, holding his hands out while sharing a look with Jackson who nodded, tugging Meredith slightly.

"Let's get you both to the ER. I'll page Callie" They all walked away, Meredith shaking in Jackson's hold with fury. They admitted the pair to bed's 8 and 9, Richard standing between them while Jackson looked at Riggs' nose.

"Thats a clean break" He commented, Callie coming up and going straight to Meredith's side.

"What happened?" She picked up her hand, Meredith pulled away slightly.

"Nothing" They both muttered, everyone sharing a look before going back to what they were doing.

"I need to book you both in for an x-ray. A word?" She looked between Richard and Jackson, the two nodding and walking to the nurses station, Riggs staring at Meredith who was looking at the floor.

"For a woman you have one hell of a swing" Riggs said, Meredith looking up at him.

"What do you mean _for a woman_?"

"I'm just saying the last person who broke my nose was Owen and we were in the 8th grade" He laughed, though she just rolled her eyes in response.

"You're an ass"

"I'm the ass? You're the one who broke my nose. I could get you done for assault" He stated with raised eyebrows, Meredith looking him dead in the eye as she spoke.

"I could get you done for harassment"

"How does anyone deal with you? You have got the be the most challenging person I have ever met, and I have met a lot of people Meredith"

"At least I am liked. Everyone just think's your a douche"

"Not your pal Maggie- I think she is warming up to me" Meredith scoffed, gripping the side of the bed to stop herself from getting up.

"Stay away from my sister Riggs"

"Family is a touchy subject for you isn't it? Is the single mom life just not for you? Is everyone still pissed at you? I mean I heard you had a feisty argument with Dr Shepard, so Maggie is probably angry that you two are fighting, am I right? And where Meredith in a bad mood goes everyone else is sure to walk in the opposite direction right?"

"Shut up" Her tone was low, her good hand turning white in anger as she gripped the bed harder.

"I mean I understand you are in pain but come on, it's been what, two years I heard? And he didn't suffer, I know men who have survived a lot worse. But my God If I were married to you I would want to die as well. You should just do everyone a favour and leave" The words left his mouth before he could stop himself, Meredith tearing her eyes away from him in agony.

"Meredith-"He went to speak, Meredith jumping off the bed interrupting him.

"No, you have voiced your opinion pretty clear. I certainly know my place now" Callie was on her way back when Meredith turned on her heal and walked away, Callie running up to the bed's.

"Meredith!" She shouted, the woman carrying on out the ER.

"What did you do?" She shot at Riggs, running after the woman. She got into the corridor, spotting Meredith who had broken out in a run and was already half way down the corridor. Callie ran after her, turning around another corner. She just managed to spot Meredith who went into an on-call room, getting to the door which was locked. She banged on the door, Meredith's cries being heard through the thick wood.

"Meredith open the door! Meredith!" Her cries were enough to send Callie into panic, the woman texting Amelia 911, needing all the help she could get.

"Torres? What are you doing?" Bailey asked coming up to her, Callie turning around in distress.

"Meredith has locked herself in" She explained quickly, Bailey rolling her eyes and going to open the door, frowning when it was actually locked.

"Dr Grey open the door" She knocked, though upon pressing her ear against the door frame and hearing the pained cries Bailey knew no amount of authority could get the woman out.

"Explain to me what happened" Callie opened her mouth to speak, but Riggs interrupted her, running up to the pair with Jackson and Richard behind him.

"I told him to wait in the ER" Richard said, Bailey staring wide eyed at his nose.

"Dr Riggs, is your nose broken?"

"Meredith broke it" Jackson said with a grin, though Richard hit his shoulder slightly, his smirk fading.

"Well no wonder she is in pain, she needs her hand looking at" Bailey said rolling her eyes, knocking on the door again.

"That is why they were supposed to wait in the ER" Richard said, but Callie sighed heavily causing everyone to stop and look at her.

"They were waiting in the ER until he did something that made her run off and lock herself in there" She said anxiously, everyone turning to Riggs who was red in shame.

"She is a touchy woman" He said with exaggeration, Jackson taking a step towards him angrily.

"She is a widow who has been through hell" Riggs took a step back defensively, Bailey putting herself in the middle.

"You, stand over there and don't speak until I tell you to. Someone page Karev, Pierce and Shepard" Bailey took charge, Riggs sighing and moving over to a gurney in the hall, sitting on it while stroking his nose in annoyance.

"I have paged Amelia" Callie said, Jackson paging Alex and Maggie. Alex was first to show as he was already on call, running down the hall to find everyone standing around with their heads low.

"Who died?" Callie looked at him, Alex holding his hands up in sorrow.

"Sorry" He mumbled, frowning when he heard crying which was most definitely Meredith.

"Where is she?" They pointed at the door, Alex going to open it, sighing when he found it to be locked.

"Meredith? Meredith come on open up. I can't be your person through this door" He stood back waiting for her to open, closing his eyes slightly when no movement was heard.

"What happened" Again nobody spoke but they all pointed at Riggs who smiled embarrassingly. Alex was about to speak when they heard Amelia shout, her, Maggie and Owen running down the corridor.

"What happened? Who is it?" Amelia cried breathlessly, Alex stepping towards them.

"Meredith has locked herself in there. We don't know what happened, or at least, I don't know" He admitted, Maggie going straight to the door.

"Look I know you two argued again but listen to her. She needs you" He said when Amelia hesitated, the brunette nodding and standing by the door with Maggie.

"Someone needs to at least give us the lowdown on what happened" Amelia said, Callie stepping forward.

"I don't know what happened entirely but her and Riggs had some sort of a showdown and they came in here and I left to book their x-rays and when I come back she was running and came straight here" Amelia watched Owen turn red, spotting Riggs and running up to him, pinning him up against the gurney.

"What did you do to her?" Riggs held his hands up, Owen tightening his hold on his t-shirt.

"Nobody warned me that talking about her husband was a touchy subject" He said, Owen holding back his arm which Jackson and Alex grabbed hold of, pulling him off Riggs.

"You spoke about Derek to her? What the hell is wrong with you?" Alex shouted, Bailey trying to get in the middle of the arguing men, failing terribly.

"Well it's been 2 years you think someone would move on" He commented back, Amelia pushing past Jackson who had to grab hold of her, her eyes burning.

"You know what Riggs, 2 years for someone who has lost someone they really loved is like 2 weeks, because everyday you wake up thinking it was all a dream but it wasn't. She has been through hell and who do you think you are bringing it all back up. I'm glad she didn't kill you because I will gladly put a gun to your head" Owen wrapped his arms around her, them both moving back as Alex and Jackson stood in the middle, Bailey staring at Riggs.

"I want you to go and sit in my office and not move until I come and deal with you. Understood?" He pushed off the hands and stormed away, Bailey closing her eyes slightly before turning back to the door.

"How do we get her out?"

"I think she has calmed down, I can't hear anything" Amelia admitted placing her ear against the door, Maggie nodding.

"Meredith? Sweetie please open the door" There was no source of movement on the other side of the door, Maggie sighing shaking her head.

"Chief, let me kick down the door" Owen said, Bailey cringing slightly, putting her head in her hands.

"Hunt I don't know"

"Anything could have happened in there Bailey. Last time she had a panic attack she could barely breathe" Jackson said, everyone staring at him wide eyed.

"Wait? She has had a panic attack before? When?!" Callie asked in shock, Jackson frowning.

"It was when she was attacked. Its why she had the braces on for an extra week because I had to cut the bands to help her calm down"

"So for all we know this could be normal for her. Bailey we have to get in there" Alex said in distress, Bailey sighing and nodding. Everyone stood back, Owen going right up to the door, just in case Meredith could hear them.

"Meredith I am going to kick the door open okay? If you can hear me at all try and move away from the door- I will catch it best I can" He nodded to himself and stood back, taking a deep breathe before running and launching his foot into the door, sending it off it's hinges. He ran and caught the door, just catching it as he saw Meredith sprawled out across the floor.

"Someone move her quick" He shouted, his face red with strain as he held the door the best he could, trying to make sure he never dropped it. Alex and Jackson ran to him to help with the door while Maggie, Callie, Amelia and Bailey ran to Meredith, them all counting and lifting her up onto the bottom bunk bed.

"Guys her head is bleeding" Riggs held his hands up, Owen tightening his hold on his t-shirt.

"Nobody warned me that talking about her husband was a touchy subject" He said, Owen holding back his arm which Jackson and Alex grabbed hold of, pulling him off Riggs.

"You spoke about Derek to her? What the hell is wrong with you?" Alex shouted, Bailey trying to get in the middle of the arguing men, failing terribly.

"Well it's been 2 years you think someone would move on" He commented back, Amelia pushing past Jackson who had to grab hold of her, her eyes burning.

"You know what Riggs, 2 years for someone who has lost someone they really loved is like 2 weeks, because everyday you wake up thinking it was all a dream but it wasn't. She has been through hell and who do you think you are bringing it all back up. I'm glad she didn't kill you because I will gladly put a gun to your head" Owen wrapped his arms around her, them both moving back as Alex and Jackson stood in the middle, Bailey staring at Riggs.

"I want you to go and sit in my office and not move until I come and deal with you. Understood?" He pushed off the hands and stormed away, Bailey closing her eyes slightly before turning back to the door.

"How do we get her out?"

"I think she has calmed down, I can't hear anything" Amelia admitted placing her ear against the door, Maggie nodding.

"Meredith? Sweetie please open the door" There was no source of movement on the other side of the door, Maggie sighing shaking her head.

"Chief, let me kick down the door" Owen said, Bailey cringing slightly, putting her head in her hands.

"Hunt I don't know"

"Anything could have happened in there Bailey. Last time she had a panic attack she could barely breathe" Jackson said, everyone staring at him wide eyed.

"Wait? She has had a panic attack before? When?!" Callie asked in shock, Jackson frowning.

"It was when she was attacked. Its why she had the braces on for an extra week because I had to cut the bands to help her calm down"

"So for all we know this could be normal for her. Bailey we have to get in there" Alex said in distress, Bailey sighing and nodding. Everyone stood back, Owen going right up to the door, just in case Meredith could hear them.

"Meredith I am going to kick the door open okay? If you can hear me at all try and move away from the door- I will catch it best I can" He nodded to himself and stood back, taking a deep breathe before running and launching his foot into the door, sending it off it's hinges. He ran and caught the door, just catching it as he saw Meredith sprawled out across the floor.

"Someone move her quick" He shouted, his face red with strain as he held the door the best he could, trying to make sure he never dropped it. Alex and Jackson ran to him to help with the door while Maggie, Callie, Amelia and Bailey ran to Meredith, them all counting and lifting her up onto the bottom bunk bed.

"Guys her head is bleeding"


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so this chapter is really small because I had an idea on a chapter when writing this one and if I added what I wanted to onto the end it would have been too long of a chapter so I cut this one short. I hope this is okay as a filler while I work on the next one. I should have that up tonight or maybe tomorrow morning depending on when I finish.**

 **Just for those wondering, I do a lot of research for my stories and I like my medical terminology to be as accurate as google will allow me to be. Some words may be confusing and unheard before but I promise they are not made up. An example of this currently is _Pollex_ \- This is the medical name for our thumb (that will make more sense when reading the chapter). If any other words are confusing for you please mention it and I will fill you in for the sake of the story.**

 **I hope you all enjoy and don't forget to drop me a review.**

"I think she fell and knocked her head. She needs a head CT now! Meredith, can you hear me?" Meredith made no sign of waking, Maggie checking her pulse which was rapid.

"Her heart rate is through the roof. I need a gurney" Maggie shouted, Alex nodding and running out to grab the gurney.

"I need to splint this hand before she starts to lose circulation" Callie stated, Bailey standing back to try and take charge if the situation.

"We will take her straight to CT and then go from there. We need to get some priorities with her treatment" Everyone nodded, them all getting her onto the gurney. Everyone went to run out the room, Bailey stopping them all.

"Too many people are here right now. Shepard, Hunt and Torres, take her to CT. I need all of you to come with me so we can assess what happened and talk to Riggs" Everyone nodded, Maggie letting go of Meredith's hand and following Bailey. Amelia got her to CT, glad nobody was waiting and hooked her up to a heart monitor. She noticed how fast the woman's heart rate was, definitely spotting an arrhythmia.

"We need to page Maggie and have her meet us in the OR. I think she has an arrhythmia" Owen nodded, watching as Callie secured her hand and she was loaded into the CT machine. Callie and Amelia came through the the monitor room, watching as the scanner screen started loading.

"I need to operate on her hand before the damage to the bone becomes unfixable and cuts off her circulation. She is at risk of losing function in right pollex" Owen closed his eye momentarily, nodding slowly. He opened his eyes, the image of her head slowly loading. Amelia perked up at his side, pointing at the screen.

"There- a very small but easy to control brain bleed. It is common in people who fall and knock their heads. In and out surgery" She said, glad the knock did not bring forth more issues for her and Meredith.

"Can you still fix her hand while Amelia works on the bleed?" He asked Callie who nodded, knowing the strain would not be too much on her.

"Okay. I will page Maggie to OR 2 and I will be in their to monitor just in case anything goes wrong" They nodded, grabbing Meredith and wheeling her to the OR, wanting to get it done as quick as possible. Maggie met them at the scrub room, applying her mask as she looked to everyone for details.

"She has a small brain bleed which I am going to fix" Amelia said, finishing her scrub, her and Owen going into the OR where Meredith was ready for them.

"I am going to fix her hand which, if everything goes okay, will gail full function in a few weeks" Callie explained, Maggie nodding starting her scrub.

"Why did you page me back?"

"She has a small arrhythmia we wanted you to look at" They finished scrubbing in, going inside.

"I see what you mean. I will have a pacemaker brought in and if it gets out of hand I will open her up and insert it. That was probably caused by the stress" Maggie explained, them all getting started while she stood back with Owen.

"What happened between her and Riggs?" Amelia asked after a while, Maggie cringing slightly.

"He is getting a 2 week suspension for harassment" She said, Callie raising her eyebrows as she collected the bone fragments in Meredith's hand.

"That doesn't answer her question"

"A few weeks ago Bailey installed microphones into some of the most important cameras around the hospital, one of them being in the ER. He said some stuff to her, harsh stuff"

"Like what Maggie? What did he say?" Amelia snapped, wanting to know what caused her to freak out so much.

"Well, for one he said she was a challenging person"

"Everyone knows she is a challenging person" Callie stated, them all laughing slightly. It was true, she was challenging but they had all managed to put up with her so far it wasn't news to them.

"He said something about being married to her" Owen frowned, everyone sharing the same expression as they stared at Maggie.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't remember the exact words he used, but it was something like _he would want to die to if he was married to her and that she should just leave everyone alone_. Alex almost killed him"

"I'm going to kill him" Owen shouted in fury, Maggie taking his hand in hers to stop him.

"No, Bailey is talking to him and he has been suspended. Killing him won't take back what he said, we just need to make sure she knows that it isn't true" They all fell into an awkward silence, Amelia finishing up the brain bleed with an ease.

"Her brain bleed is under control, how is her hand looking Callie?"

"I should be finished in about 20 minutes. It is going to make a full recovery" She smiled, knowing her career would have been gone without her hand.

"Her arrhythmia has balanced out, I think the anaesthetic helped her mind relax so it levelled her heart rate out. I will monitor it in post-op either way just to be sure it doesn't come back, especially when she wakes up"

"Well she is going to be in recovery for at least 3 weeks to watch this hand while it is casted and then she won't be able to use it for another 2 after that. A lot of physiotherapy is going to take place before I can clear her for surgery again"

"That is going to be painful for all of us" Owen commented, everyone laughing. They all watched in content as Callie finished up and closed her hand, standing to stretch.

"Are you going to fix Riggs' nose?" Maggie asked, Callie looking up at the empty gallery before making eye contact with the woman.

"Am I hell" Maggie rolled her eyes, Amelia high-fiving her as they prepared the wheel Meredith into recovery.


	3. Chapter 3- Final Chapter

**This chapter may be confusing at first but I hope it all comes together the more it unfolds. I am just going to get on with it because I really enjoyed doing this chapter and hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it.**

Meredith felt herself jolt awake, looking around in confusion. The atmosphere and surroundings were familiar, her mind flashing back almost 9 years ago. _The drowning..._ She stood and wobbled slightly, the OR room sterile and empty, everything slightly brighter. She thought the worst straight away... _She was dead._ But if she was dead shouldn't someone be meeting her like last time, giving her a choice between life and death. Right now she would rather take the latter. She was expecting to see old patients of hers, maybe Denny again, Doc, _Derek._ She left the OR, walking out into the corridor to find a trail of blood.

"That is not mine" She mumbled slightly, following the trail to a patient room. She opened the door, taken back by the sight of a body covered up on the bed, their monitor flat lining. She walked slowly towards the bed and pulled the sheet back, gasping when she saw Finn lying cold and dead on the bed. A nurse suddenly appeared out of nowhere, Meredith jumping back in shock.

" _We are so sorry for you loss ma'am. The bullet wounds to his chest were just too much for his body to handle_ " The voice sounded distant, like it was close but not exactly in the same room. Like it was a memory, but it clearly was not hers. She looked down and back up again before backing out of the room slowly. He back hit the wall in the corridor, the door slamming shut behind her making her jump again. She started again down the corridor, coming across another room which had a piece of paper on the door.

 _Memorial for Dr Ellis Grey. Please come in to pay your respects_.

She remembers the day well, not long after her mother died. Dr Webber insisted on the memorial being held in the hospital after her funeral, knowing that was were she wanted to be remembered, and where people wanted to remember her. She opened the door, the scene a flash back for her. She saw herself, 9 years younger, sitting on the edge of a table, only Richard and Derek in the room with her. She was staring at the floor, Derek watching her out of the corner of his eye as Richard slowly picked at a sandwich.

 _"Your mother would have loved this"_ She heard Richard say, though his voice was the same as the nurse from before. Distant.

 _"Yeah I guess"_ She was not in the mood for a funeral that day anyway let alone a memorial with strangers complimenting her mother. She was treasuring the silence. She watched how Derek motioned to Richard to stop talking, smiling slightly. It's a gesture she never saw him make at first, and something that she would have treasured dearly if she had. She stared at the picture of her mother on the wall and shut the door over, walking around the corner. Somehow she was outside an OR room again, opening the door to the deafening sound of a flat lining wind was knocked out of her as she recognised the scene, her and Callie's sobs echoing around her as she stared wide eyed at the bloody and mangled face of George O'Mailey. It was coming up to 6 years since George had died, since the first of their friendship group had spiralled. Next was Izzie and then Cristina, leaving only her and Alex to toughen out _Seattle Mercy Death._ She spotted him standing at the back of the room, a tear rolling down her cheek at the sight. He was waring his army uniform, a bright, silly smile on his face like always.

"I'm so sorry George" She cried out, though she didn't know if he could hear her.

"You recognised me, even when you had every right not to, you still knew it was me. Thank you for giving me my identity back Meredith" She smiled sadly, flinching when he appeared next to her, grasping her hand.

"You have always been the brave one. A lot braver than I was. You can still do this" She shook her head, tightening her grip on his hand, not wanting him to slip away again.

"I never stopped missing you George" He smiled, nudging her arm slightly knowing she needed to move on to get to the end of her journey.

"I am always with you Meredith" He slowly faded back into the room, Meredith backing out as she door shut over on her. She sighed heavily and carried on, looking at the closed OR room one more time before turning the corner. She appeared in the lobby next, the hustle and bustle of the hospital slightly comforting. She looked around trying to locate anyone she recognised, wondering what memory this was supposed to be. She walked to the chairs family and friends would sometimes sit in waiting for news from surgeries, spotting two old yet familiar faces out of the corner of her eye. She turned in the direction they were, the two standing in a corner out of the busy lobby. She slowly made her way to them, smiling at their entwined hands.

 _"Did you see Meredith's engagement ring? It's so beautiful!"_ Lexie exclaimed, the sparkle in her eye making Meredith's heart flutter.

 _"It's big! Maybe you will have one that like one day"_ Mark's playful smirk caused Meredith to roll her eyes, but Lexie stopped jumping on her toes, staring at Mark.

 _"That's not funny Mark"_

 _"I'm not joking! What is so wrong about us getting married one day?"_

 _"Nothing is wrong with it, I just pictured my wedding so differently to how I want it now"_ She frowned, Meredith leaning against the wall intrigued in the conversation.

 _"Well is that a bad thing? What's so different about how you see it now?"_

 _"When I was little me and Molly were never close and I always wanted a wedding closed off from everyone, just me and my husband on a beach somewhere with nobody around. Now I can see a big wedding, I want a big wedding. With a dress and bridesmaids and guests and a party. I could never see myself walking down the isle behind Molly, but I could see Meredith holding my flowers for me and being my maid of honour because, she is a good sister, a really good sister. I can see myself having a future with my sister looking after the kids while I go out with my husband, Mark. I like that future"_ Meredith wanted to reach out to her sister, hating how far away she actually was to her.

 _"10 years time, you and me, Meredith and Derek, loads of McDreamy and McSteamy kids"_ Mark added, Lexie nodding with a sigh.

 _"I want that Mark, I want that with you, and with Meredith and Derek"_ He grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, them starting away to the elevator. Meredith couldn't control the tears as she watched them walk away, craving the feel of her sisters hand on hers one more time, the brightness of Mark's McSteamy grin. It was all so close yet so far away. She needed to hide from the emotions she was feeling and fell into the door that was behind her, the room sending her to the bridge between the stairs and Chief's office. The bridge still to this day gave her a shiver she could never shake, the sight of Derek being shot right before her eyes a memory forever burned into her mind.

"You still can't walk across here- it's been 5 years Meredith" She froze at the sound of his voice, turning to see him standing across from her, that knowing look on his face.

"It's not my fault you went and got yourself shot" She commented back, wanting to know it was real, that he was real.

"You're the reason I have to take a second breath before going into OR3" She smirked slightly, clenching her hand as the sensation of the bomb from almost 10 years ago flew up her arm.

"We aren't the luckiest of couples are we?"

"You could say that" He walked up to her, rubbing his hand up her arm causing her to shake uncontrollably.

"You haven't done that in 2 years" She whispered, watching the rise and fall of his chest in content, a tear rolling down her cheek. She slowly moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him, falling into his hold as she sobbed, his head taking in the scent of her hair sadly.

"I have missed you so much Derek" She cried, Derek nodding.

"I know you have, I know" He pulled away, grabbing her hand and ushering her into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" He smiled, waiting for the doors to open. They slowly eased open, Meredith frowning at the scene. They were in the ICU, a sleeping Amelia, Owen, Maggie and Alex all sitting around a hospital bed, Callie standing against the wall. It was her in the hospital bed, her hand casted and resting at her side.

"I'm not dead?" She questioned, Derek shaking his head.

"You are dreaming. Do you remember what happened?" She nodded, looking at Amelia.

"We argue so much now you are gone. I want us to just be the way we were with each other but somehow we always end up in the same place"

"You know she prays everyday. She will find five minutes and sit in the chapel and pray. She doesn't know what she is praying to or who but she still does. She loves you a lot Meredith, more than she lets on, she thinks you resent her because she isn't me"

"I did at first, but now I am used to it, and I do love her I just, I have days were missing you consumes me, and I don't know what to do. Seeing her makes the pain worse sometimes. I don't want it to, but it does"

"I know, but you both need to feed off that pain otherwise you are going to be going around in circles" She nodded, running her hand through her hair.

"Come on, we have one more stop" He grabbed her hand and they walked back into the elevator, them travelling down again and stopping at the daycare. Meredith cooed happily at the sight of Bailey with her 3 kids, walking out of the elevator. She turned and spotted Derek who was looking on sadly, a small smile on his face.

"She is beautiful" He nodded to Ellis, Meredith nodding with teary eyes.

"She looks like you. She has your eyes"

"I wish I could just hold her, just once. I hate myself everyday for leaving you and not getting to meet her"

"She knows you are with her, and so does Zola and Bailey. They miss you a lot but it's getting easier for them. Zola talks to you almost every night"

"I know, I talk back" She watched sadly as a tear rolled down her cheek, walking up to wipe it away.

"Come on" He tried to shake away the tears and the linked hands, going back inside the elevator.

"I thought you said that was our last stop" She said confused, Derek nodding.

"It was, I am taking you back to your room"

"I don't want to leave. I want to stay here with you. I can stay with you, and George and Lexie and Mark"

"I know you miss us all, and I know you want to stay here, but look at what you are leaving behind" She looked out the open doors to those around her in the ICU, Amelia waking to check her vitals again.

 _"Is she awake yet?"_ Owen asked her with his eyes still closed, Amelia sighing heavily.

 _"Still no sign of waking. She will wake up soon, she has to. I did everything right I know I did"_

"They don't need me" He shook his head, another tear rolling down his cheek.

"No Meredith, we don't need you. Look at how at peace George was. Lexie and Mark, they have each other, and Me? Watching my kids and you everyday is the best I could ask for right now. But everyone in that room needs you, Zola, Bailey and Ellis need you. What Riggs said to you, that was out of order and you had every right to be angry and give up, but that means he wins. Do you want him to win? Do you want this to be your final moments, because we both know you have a lot more to live for. You are the sun" Cristina's words echoed around her as she looked between Derek and her hospital bed, the decision tearing her apart.

"I love you so much" She wrapped her arms around him again for the last time, Derek laughing tearfully, taking in that one last scent of her hair.

"I love you too Meredith" She took a deep breath and turned away from him, running out of the elevator straight to her bed. Amelia watched everyone sleep, her eyes flickering between Maggie, Owen, Callie and Meredith, begging her to show any kind of sign of waking.

"Come on Meredith" Amelia whispered, gripping onto her good hand.

 _"Come on Meredith"_ Derek watched from the corner of the room as Meredith disappeared, watching her body intensely for any sign. He released a breath as he watched her hand tighten around Amelia's, her eyes fluttering open.

"Oh my God, hi! Hi you're awake" Amelia muttered, her eyes wide and bright as Meredith cringed slightly at the bright light. She turned to look at the sleeping trio before finally landing her eyes on Amelia who was smiling widely.

"Thank you for not killing me" She mumbled happily, Amelia laughing and nodded, sighing happily.

 _"Thank you for not killing her"_ Derek said, sliding back into the elevator with a sad smile, the doors closing on him for the last time.

"What Riggs said isn't true okay? We all need you here, we want you here. You should never let anyone tell you otherwise okay?" She nodded, a tear rolling down her cheek, Amelia mimicking her as one fell down hers.

"Thank you for staying" She smiled, squeezing her hand.

"I am not going anywhere"

 **So maybe this would be a good place to end it? I don't know. Let me know if you want anymore or if you think this ending is okay. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


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